Me and my family went to a Local Concert series thing last night. It was really fun, and pretty much my whole family, at different times, commented on how the mandolinist/fiddler, Tara Shupe and I dressed alike, I took it as a compliment though. I happen to like the way that she dresses! hehe

Well then after we were done, we went to the grocery store, and something struck me, when at the store and the chashier asks if you found everything okay, who really says no? I mean now next time I go, I am going to say no, and then give them the story of my whole shoping experiance

Okay so quite a bit happened today. Overall, it was quite a good day. My hair looked good, my makeup was pretty, and my outfit wasn't too bad either. I go to school feeling very good. Dance was nice, I got a cool looking bruise from backward rolls into my middle splits, and I went on to Minstrels of Troy. Matt and I talked for a while about just dumb stuff, nothing interesting, but he was kicked off the basketball team because of his little (okay so it wasn't so little) incident in the gym on the 3rd. In math I got a ten out of ten on my assignmet *woot woot* and then in choir, Ms. Porter didn't chew anyone out. I got a twelve out of fifteen on my science quiz, went to history and got a thirteen out of fourteen on another quiz, and then I went to lunch.

This is where things went just weird. Okay I was stitting at lunch, first the soda machine ate my money, and then, I am sitting at the table (I never eat lunch) drinking a pop that my friend gave me, he always buys five, it's ridiculous but oh well. And this friend tells me what my boyfriends best friend said yesterday. I hadn't heard it because I was listening to my music when he said this. But he said, "Tomorrow's my birthday, Katie, where's my Birthday blow-job?" I didn't hear it then, all I heard was my name. So after a few seconds I took out my earphones and said, "What? Did I miss something?"
Everyone was looking at me and I didn't know why.
Well today I found out, and I wasn't so pissed about him saying it, it was more the fact that nobody told me. I wanted to beat the shit out of that kid, but the bell rang and I had to go to French. French was good too, as was english although I do hate that class with the buring passion of a thousand suns.

so something else happened today...

Well I was reading a book the other day, and I realized how when you read two different books by the same author, if you anaylize it correctly, you will find the format nearly the same. With sarah dessen you find that most of her books start with a girl who is insecure in some kind of way, meeting a guy, denying their feelings for the person (with the exception of Dream Land), and then kissing them in the end. Now with a writer like Ellen wittlinger, her books prodominately focus on some boy or girl in a new situation, there is always a homosexual person (which i have no problem with, my aunt is lesbian), and two characters fitting so well together that they should be a couple. But they never end that way. It is always one of those things where in the end, the people you want to be together so bad never happen, and the rest is for you to decided.
For some reason or other, I have found this the case in almost all books I have read. There are exceptions such as Laurie Faria Stolarz. In her books, the BIFN series and Bleed, Bleed is nothing like the BIFN series. so yeah, I was just thinking about that so I guess I should go now.
****

Oh my gosh! Today, one of my best friends who has a heart condition (backwards heart) Collapsed during gym. It is his 7th period, and I was informed just before eighth period. Another friend of mine said, "Hey you know that kid, Matt? He passed out in gym!" My friend was shaking because it was so scary for him. Wow, all the way through 8th period I couldn't concentrate because I was so worried. I just barely emailed him asking how he was and to get back to me as soon as possible, but I'm not sure how soon that will be. I guess that I will just have to see if he is alright in the morning.

Okay so what else has been up with me. My grade in french has gone up to a D+ and that is good because it is no longer an F, but I do have and F in science and in Math. the F in math is because I am having some serious issues understanding some of the material. Also, my test scores are very low. My last test; I missed 26 questions. that is so very bad. I haven't ever done so bad on tests except for the ones this year.

Ms. Porter is starting to come back half day. She is switching off between her morning classes (Concert choir (my choir)) and her afternoon classes (beginning choir)plus all of her theater classes. She looks pretty goo for just having Knee surgery!

topic #4:
Life for me is sucking lately. My mom was on a rampage this morning, yelling at everyone. First she threatened to take away my sister's cell phone because she was sick and couldn't go to school. She was bawling when I left the house. Plus, just before I left to have my dad drive me to school, I could hear my mom yelling at my ten year old sister that if she didnt' get dressed then she wouldn't get her a treat when she goes grocery shopping, and that she wouldn't be able to play with her friends. So quickly before she could yell at me for something stupid, I ran with the keys and started the car so It would be warm when I was all ready and my dad could just take me to shcool. I didn't want that grizzly bear growling at me!
Plus, my sister had a pregnancy scare. The first person she told was me, her little sister. She had to have known that I would worry way more than necessary and that I might let it slip on accident. But luckily on New Years Eve, me, her, and her boyfriend were all relieved to here that she was not, in fact, pregnant! It was oh so awful.




I won a blue ribbon!
~katie

1. Sing a whole set in front of a crowd
2. Never get another F in school ever again
3. Sleep so long, that I can stay awake for three days
4. Find that there is more to life than what meets the eye
5. learn to work a computer properly
6. See the world
7. live in five diferent countries at least
8. Learn to drive
9. Never Marry
10. Stop selling myself short.

These are my top ten goals for life, a new ten will be set at the first of next month!

~katie~

Bonjour, Journal! Today is the 22nd of December and I am ready for christmas, I am breaking up with my boyfriend, and I am going to stay single until I'm atleast sixteen! *Woot Woot* that is my New years resolution. It will be fulfilled. Sooo, Yesterday we threw a surprise party for my sister's best friend. It was a lot of fun. I met a new kid and we ate a lot of snack food. It was quite the party. well okay it was kinda boring and points, and everyone kept saying aloud with my little sister in the room "Aren't you going out with Danny's little brother???" And Techically, I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend, so yeah my ahem "cover" was nearly blown.

New subject. I was talking with my good friend Matt a few nights ago on the internet, and he totally came clean about all of the girls he liked and vice versa. I told him my few, and asked his advice for breaking up with Colton. Well, it seems as though things shall work out. Anyway, I was talking to Matt, and he finally told the truth about him liking me last year. It was a bit of a surprise because I didn't think that he liked me back. I figured that it was just a one way sort of a thing but I guess that I was wrong. It Kind of made my stomach all jumpy and flip-floppy at first, but then I wondered to myself why I was so happy I'm over him, right? Things are just becoming more and more complicated with my life. My grades are going down the toilet, and I was yelled at for them. Plus, my sister is now driving and there is something extra for everyone to worry about!

Once again, an abrupt subject change. Me and my sister and going christmas shopping today and I have no idea what to get anybody! Maybe I will just get some bracelets and stuff for my little sister (oops i didn't mean to type that, I'm typing my thoughts again...) gahhh! Oh well, so yeah I have 45 dollars to shop for everyone but my mom and older sister while we are out, and I don't think that that is a enough money but I guess that I will live...


hmmmmmm...there really isn't much more to say, we are comming along great with Fiddler on the Roof, Ms. Porter is still out for her Knee surgery *woot woot* and my grades might look up because I turned in all of the important shit on wednesday! Hopefully I won't be yelled at for another A on a french test, but an F on a math test (the last test we took, i missed 36, and there were 50 points possible. Yes i know 14/50 is very bad...)

~well that is all
~katie~

Today I was thinking, when I get dressed in the morning, put on make-up, match hair stuff to my shirt, put on a cute belt or some rings and bracelets, is anyone noticing all that effort? There is one person who nearly everyday, says how my eye shadow is that exact same shade as my shirt, or that the shoelace in my hair was a great touch. This person isn't my boyfriend, which upsets me a little bit. The only thing that he ever notices is how my hair wasn't behaving that morning, or how I as wearing the same pants as the day before, or that my shoes aren't mine, that they're my sister's. My deal it, when I dress in the morning or pick out my outfit the night before I am thinking, is Colton gonna notice this new ring? Maybe he'll see how I ratted my hair, or that my earrings match my headband perfectly.
The person who does notice, is the person I consider my very very very very very guilty pleasure. I like to look at him, at his eyes more directly, they are like a honey color and I just can't resist them...but anyway, I'm getting off subject. This guy, Mac is his name, is the only person who ever notices. It really frustrates me that my own boyfriend isn't gonna comment on how cute I look that day, or that My shoes match rather than my hair looks funny. So yeah It is just strange to me that the person who I really think should notice doesn't and the person who I want to notice the most does! that is wonderful! But my point is here, that most people dress for an audience like I do, because if not for those who see, who?

ZzZzZzZzZ*****

Okay so know I think I will say a little something about my dance concert tonight that I got back from a few hours ago and it was horrifying!!!! I never get nervous for that sort of thing, I have danced in front of people so many times, but I was freaking out for some reason!!! But anyway, I nailed it and now it is all over thank god!

~katie~

woot Woot! I am getting Bones the complete first season tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!that should be enough exclamation points...But yeah I am very excited (is it obvious) I love that show and I want to be able to watch it whenever I want to. but I have to pay some serious money for it. OH well.

Okay, so tonight I have tons to say about how I've been lately. I haven't written here in a while because I have been really obssed with the TV series Bones lately, and I have been reading tons of fun Fan Fiction. Plus, I have just been super busy. Yeah, so now I will tell you about the beginning of the week and I will work down. Last Friday, I went with my grandparents to Pocatello, Idaho for a dance competition. It was so much fun, and It made me want to cry so badly becuase I miss dancing so much and I so wish that my mom would pay for more dance classes, but she can't afford it :( Next, My mom's side of the family came to town and we hung out with my gay cousin and my straight cousin for the four days that they were here. We walked all over sugar house too, we had tons of fun doing that because I don't know the area and they are from Califonia.
event #2, we had thanksgiving early because my family wouldn't be here for thursday, so we have it tuesday. That was really great plus I got to skip school and go shopping. event #3, today, My sisters, mom, grandma, and one cousin went to see the Santa claus 3. IT was pretty good, but not what I expected. Event #4, me and my older sister drove to get her boyfriend and best friend so that they could come with us to play music at an auction in Spanish Fork for a bunch of cowboys. I wasn't super happy abouty it until we got there. We played for about a half an hour and hung out for the rest of the three hour auciton. It was pretty boring, but there were some hottie kick boys in tight wranglers runnin' all over, and that was pretty great. Well that kind of concludes this weeks events, but I do have much more to say about this stuff.


xXxXxXxXx


Alright, so when we were at the auction, Alexis (my sister) kind of froze out her best friend to be with her boyfriend, which I think is totally lame. Especially because same lives four hours away, and scott lives about 35 miles away. But then once we went to diner things got better. they were laughing and having fun, then a one of the hottie cowboys, and his brother (well I think they were brothers, they kind of looked alike, but one was a little chunkier) walked in and sat in the booth right across from our table and watched us laugh and joke, and be mean to one another. That was pretty fun, and then (haha I bet you thought I was done!) My dad invites Carson, his good buddy, to have diner with us. He teases us a bit, and then we left and I had to pee really badly. My kidneys almost exploded, but then we made it to a gas station and I was saved from blown up kidneys.

XxXxXxX

I'm pretty sure that that is all the rambling I have to do in this entry, but I will be back to annoy any readers I might have with more of my insane babble. And if you are a reader, please comment even if you are saying that I am a bitchy un appreiciative, stupid little girl, I want to know what you think of what I have to say!

~katie ♥ ~

Christmas list:

Movies:
_A lot like Love
_The Sand Lot
_Ladder 49
_10 Things I Hate About you
_Dirty Dancing
_Dirty Dancing Havana Nights
_Ice Princess (I know it's lame but I love that movie)

Music stuff:
_iPod case(plastic cover(black) with colored stars)
_Ear Phones (I blew my speakers)
_A lot Like Love sound track
_Arm band for iPod
_Blank CDs


Other stuff:
_Hair accessesories
_Nail Polish
_hats
_braclets, neclaces, rings, etc.
_Leggwarmers of many colors
_Gloves (for the harsh utah winter!)
_Beanie (a hate for the harsh Utah winter!)
_Aeropostale Scent (it smells like grapefruit!)
_Borders, Branes & Nobels, F.Y.E., etc. Gifts cards.
_games for my system
_T.V.

Of Course there WILL be more soon. I do not expect to get all these things. but that would be so awesome. But because our family is pretty poor, I bet i will get gloves, hats, at the leggwarmers, but only cuz my mom doesn't want me to freeze walking home from schooL!

Wow. I feel like some serious crap today. I am home from school and I feel like I am dying. My throat is sore, and my head hurts. Here is my list of perks to being sick:

1. NO school yes!
a. I don't have to try out yet for the FOTR(fiddler on the roof)
b. I don't have to face anyone i don't wish to.
2. I have no homework for a while

3. There is no three being sich sucks.

Here is the down sides:

1. It is super icky being sick.
a. I hate the medication I can take for it.
b. my coughing won't stop.
2. I'm missing school.
a. I am missing tryouts. What if It was my turn to go on stage, and I wasn't there, and they are just going to skip me, and I have no chance whatsoever of getting Chava! nooooo!
b. I am going to get behind on homework
3. My mom thinks that I have diabetes whenever I get sick.
a. Even though the symptoms don't match diabetes, she worries about it ever single time.
4. I miss my friends.
a. This is my first day home, and I already miss my friend!

so there you have it the pros and cons of being sick out of your mind. I did, however forget one pro. I usually get to eat out when I'm home sick because eveyone feels oh so bad for me that I'm so sick. I really have a serious craving for Mexican food right now too!

Okay...Now I will talk about how my borning life sucks, and everyone will continue not to read about it! My life is just not worth it. There are people my age who live there life, me I just sit at home living forever and ever through my books without any adventure of my own. I have no life. Now I will continue to innocently overlook the truth as my favorite song says.

~k

Dude! I have been playing a freakin shit load of music lately. My fingers are so sore i wish that I could die. I'm learning so much and I feel that I am really improving. Mostly I have been trying to take on the songs I know on the Mandolin, and transfew them to the guitar. It isn't super easy, but I'm not bad at it. lately, the singing thing is what I have been working on. My voice is getting stronger, but I still get very nervous when I begin to sing, but after I get started and I am well into the song, things are okay. well today I haven't much to say so I guess I won't just drag on forever!

**++==Katie

Okay well the subject line of my entry today is of Taylor swift's I'd Lie. This is a truly great song and it really discribes me. Okay, so I might have a boyfriend, but that doens't me I am totally into him. I just didn't wanna say no and be a bitch. So what the subject title means, is the guy I really like (who I thought that I was over but I'm not, and I just pretend to be) doesn't know. I really like him, and he can't know. For one thing, I think I have said this before, but he doesn't want a girlfriend until he is sixteen. So yeah I know so much about him, and he sees through a lot of stuff, but he can't see through me. It makes me very sad, because I have a boyfriend now and I don't like him the way he likes me but I don't wanna make him sad, or ruin our friend ship.

These are all of the things I know about the guy I really like but can't have:

*His favorite color is green
*He plays baseball and very well at that
*He has two younger sister's and two older siblings
*He is very smart and in the Accelerated program
*He prefers sprite over other sodas
*for lunch he eats pizza
*He likes any sort of rock music
*He is LDS and his university that he roots for is BYU
*He is Hawian
*His heart is backwards which prevents him from being able to play some sports.
*His middle name is randel
*He wishes that he was in regular ed
*He eats lunch with my best friend who is a guy
*HE sings very very well but has no idea
*Is way shy at times, but when me and him are alone, he is funny outgoing, and in no way shy
*I know his whole schedual but I won't post that.

What I know about my BF:

*he Likes Panic! at the disco
*He likes Plain white ts
*is easily pissed off
*has 10 siblings
*has moved 12 times
*can act very well
*is close to his sister
*hates halloween
*doesn't play of watch sports...

That is like all I know about him. Yes I know, I know way more about my friend that I wanna go out with, than the guy i am actually going out with!

this is so sad! get me out of this messssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn I am going to be so freaking fat by the time the eighth grade ends! I eat so much more than I used to!

well...I have a boyfriend. This is a strange new thing to me...Oh well. Let's get down to business. for diner I ate three sloppy joes, and three helping of macoroni salad, i am gonna get fat, I won't be able to walk, or dance, or run or...never mind. well Yeah It will suck, so i need to cut back on this food stuff. So yep yep yep yep yep. I haven't much to say today other than the fact that I really feel like writing something maybe i will take a stab at something sappy and inspirational? Maybe it will be stange and unusual? Maybe it will be about, nothing, like Sienfeld!?

Okay here goes nothing. I need to dance to live, and I need to write to live, and I need to read to live, and I need to play to live. all of these requirments of life for me seem so...what is the word I am looking for, ummm stupid probably. Yep that was the word I was looking for.
I talked to a friend a while back about true passion and stuff. I feel that mine is dance, yet everyone else thinks that my ture passion is to write. This might have something to do with the fact they haven't seen me dance. Truly dance with all my life and heart in it. They have seen me dance at really dumb school dances in the packed boiling hot gym, but all that is, is goofing off.
When I dance for real, I bring the song to life, I make the lyrics from my music dance as well. I wish I had a way to show that to my friends.

So I guess I went with sappy. And taht certaily was, sappy I mean. And I sound so vain and bitchy. "I can dance like an angel!" shit shit shit. Yeah, let me tell you what I really want:

I want to wake up, and find that I live in NYC and I am living over the bookstore that I own on a crowed street corner. By day I sell books, and get new ideas for never written novels. Then one day, I decided to dance for a company, and I do. I am amazing, but then, i get injured and I can never dance again. Devistated, I will write a book on how devistated I am, and it will be so bad and pathetic, that I will come out of my slump, and write those novels I had been dreaming up over the year. I want my life to be filled with conflict and interest, but being only of thirteen years, it is a bit hard to live that sort of life. oh well. I guess i will keep on dreaming, and living through all of the books taht I read!





I am such a loser!

Do you want to come to a party
My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30
This thing's at a frat house but people are cool there
Well I did if I loved but I never dreamed there
Would be someone there who would catch my attention
I wasn't out searching for love or affection
So I payed my three and the girls got in free
Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party

And then in the backyard some terrible ska band
Someone in the background was doing a keg stand
This place is so lame all these girls look the same
All these guys have no game I wish I would have stayed
In my bed back at home watching TV alone
Where I'd put on some porn or have sex on the phone
Far from people I hate down from anywhere state
Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party

And then I saw her standing there
With green eyes and long blonde hair
She wasn't wearing underwear at least i prayed that
She might be the one, maybe we'd have some fun
Maybe we'd watch the sun rise
But that night I learned some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard (bakground from here on in the chorus "da na na " repeated over and over)
Yeah, Some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress
With those things on their chest
And the things they suggest to me

I couldn't believe what this lady was saying
The names she was dropping, the games she was playing
She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys
How she's down with the 'wise well-constructed disguise'
Now I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this
Her volume of makeup her fake tits were tasteless
So I said I'd call her but never would bother
Until I got turned down by another girl at a party

So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blonde hair
She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover
This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun
You should just turn and run because you'll find out that
Some girls try too hard (bakground from here on "da na na " repeated over and over)
some girls try too hard
And some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress
With those things on their chest
And the things they suggest to me
Some girls try too hard
Some girls try too hard


hehe it is the party song!

If you want to know the artists to these songs i have for my subject lines, I will put them on my page somewhere and I will add to it. yep yep~

today wasn't as shitty as yesterday, but I have a test on chapter two in french and I am kinda worried about that. I studied, but I don't know how well I'm going to do. Tests aren't my best friend.
* I really really am so confused about these two guys I know. Okay, so I have two friends who like me as more than a friend. And both are too chicken to ask me out. The one I want to ask me out more though, is way more shy than the other kid. So the likeliness of me getting what I want is very slim. so yeah anyway.
*here is how things went today
*my friend informed me that his friend likes me.
*I said I sort of did too
*then I found out that I don't know what I want.
Okay taht is so bad. I should do yoga so that I would relax more, or find a person who will give me a massage when I tense up. Haha yeah right. But anyway. I have found myself getting more and more stressed about stupid things lately. This really sucks because this will make me sick. I throw up, and my nose gets stuff, and my throat starts to hurt. This makes things so bad.
***********************************************************
Okay next I have decided to put a list of all the things that I want to do before I die. I am in a community, thelifelist, and this is the total purpose of it, I decided that I would typr up my own list right here as well as in the community, plus I have a few more than I did before.


1- Live in San Francisco
2- Live on the gluf coast (texas)
3- Live in NYC
4- Live in Cape Cod
5- Own a beach house on the east coast, west coast, and the gluf coast.
6- Own a little book store in Sugar house.
7- Dance for some serious cash (not exotic dance, like ballet, jazz,& Hip Hop)
8- Own a huge victorian house in Boston, with banister that I can slide down.
9- Become famous for my writing.
10- Skinny dip in the all five great lakes
11- Die my hair the colors of the rainbow one at a time
12- Buy a fix-er-up-er and never fix it up.
13- Pierce my lip (right hand side near the corner
14- Pierce my tongue.
15- Find a boy with a broken smile and ask him to stay a while
16- Have many boyfriends, and never get married
17- Find the perfect mand, and never marry him
18- Graduate highschool and go to Columbia in NYC, (or Princeton would be good too.)
19- travel all over the world, and never do it again.
20- write so many books that you can't read them all in a year if you read one a day.
21- Inspire young minds as an 8th grade English teacher.
22- Stand up to my parents.
23- Stop being a push-over.
24- Break a least five laws.
25- Be accepted to a Performing arts school, and then turn them down so I can be a writer and a teacher.
26- Lose my head, then find it again.
27- Go totally off on someone and not appologize for a long time.
28- Finally appologize to that person that I went off on.
29- Discover the "meaning of life."
30- Run away from home. To the end of the block, and then be afraid of getting shot and run back home.
31- Understand my older sister.
32- Find out why it is so hard to understand my older sister
33- Tell Mrs. hawkins to shove it.
34- Lay on the side walk during a rainstorm.
35- Count the stars for a whole night.
36- Write a final book and decide to retire from the writing business.
37- Realize that that was a huge mistake and write more than ever before.
38- Be brave
39- Get a tattoo.
40- Find the gameboy that i lost when I was in 3rd grade.
41- Keep my room clean for more than two weeks in a row.
42- Stop talking to nobody in this journal and get a life.
43- Look for my purpose.
44- Stop looking for my purpose when I realize I knew it all along.
45- Stop swearing.
46- Go to church for two months straight plus activities.
47- Teach the kids both of my sisters will have how to squirt ketchup packets on mommy.
48- Write one final book.
49- Write the real last and final book.
50- Complete this list!

wow, that took forever! well I guess that I will post those song artists on my page somewhere, or I will leave a myspace link and put them there...well bye bye for now


~crazily urs
Katherine

so i had a shitty day bottome line...

Okay so I have decided to have my subject line of every single email I send to be a song title or a line in a song. It is an idea that I got from the Ellen wittlinger book *Heart on my Sleeve.* It was a way good book and I decided to steal the idea!!! So don't be surprised if my Subject line has nothing to do with what is in the entry. Occassionally though, I might make it so that they do match. The entry and my subject line that is.
So today in english, we learned a little bit about birth order. It is pretty cool, but most of the sites say that middle children (me) act out, are rude to other siblings and are mad at the world more often than the other siblings. But that is my older sister all the way. I mean I don't want to be mean to my sister or anything, but It is just that she is the one who is always screaming, "GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!" and my little sister is always screaming, "I ROCK, PRAISE ME!
Now of course I am not being litteral or anything, but really I mean I am just a very neutral person. There was a web site that hit a little closer to home. It said, "Middle childeren are usually strong willed, creative, and are peace makers. Most cannot deal with people fighting." That was definately me. But on the other sites I sounded much more like the oldest. "smart, example setting..." and so on and so forth. both of my sister look up to me even though I am not the oldest.
***
New topic. The Bridge on my mandolin split. It makes me very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very sad! The worst part is, I have my lesson today so i have to take my dads mandolin. And I just got my mandolin's intoneation fixed so it didn't sound funny when I tunned in harmonics. But now that my bridge split, I can't show my teacher how much better it sounds, which suck ASS.
***
Once again, new topic. So Fiddler on the Roof! I am so excited to start auditions, but I am so scared. It is going to be so scary to sing in front of so many people. I might back out, and if I do, then matt will have nobody to audition with. I wouldn't want to do that to him. So anyway, I can't quit but I am way too scared to sing infornt of 55 of my peers. It is just, way too scary.
I am pretty sure that it will kill me instantly. I will get up to sing, and I will pass out or something and all will go wrong. This will make me so sad. But yeah anyway, I am also trying out for Chava as well as Hodel. That one won't be half has scary though I am sure. I only have to sing a small section of Matchmaker. So that won't be too bad.
some times, I think that I am skydiving with a broken parachute though. There is no way I will land on my feet.

~K

I had the greatest weekend in my entire life!!!!!! It was UEA weekend at school so we had five day off of school and my family went to a bluegrass festival in Logandale, Nevada. We has so much fun. So there is this guy I know, Ezra Bussmann, who is like the greatest mandolin player I know besides my current teacher. Tara Shupe (as in the sister of Ryan Shupe, as in the rubberband) and her brother, mom and nieces all came down as well. Well anway, Logandale is a bluegrass festival as mentioned before, and has a bunch of live performers like family bands, and nationally known Bluegrass bands. So we get there around 6:30 on thrusday, the day before the festivities start, and we just hang out with our friends (*okay so they are my parents friends, but i will roll wit dem any day*) and played very little music, but the second day, that is nearly all I did. My fingers were so sore the next day that they would scream every time I even thought about getting out my mandolin.
So anway, here I am just having a good 'ol time kickin' it with the old guys who are amazing pickers. Around 10:00 on friday night, Ezra Bussmann, and Tara Shupe come up and play in our jam that was huge because our canopy was big and kept people out of the rain. Now Ezra and Tara are not known to playing much with kids, or people who are not very very advanced musicicians. But all weekend I played away with Ezra.
We got some great one-on-one time while my parents were packing up. We played all kinds of tunes together and it was so much fun. I don't usually get out of the circle that I play with much, and it was a real treat to play with such an accomplished musician. He told me that I have a ton of talent, and to never quit. He also said that he wasn't as good as me after two year of playing when I told him that that was all I had been playing for. I do believe that he was blown away. By that time I was swelling with pride and so happy that such a great picker had complimented me so highly.
***
The tuesday taht school started again, sucked freaking ASS. I woke up late and wore my PJs to school. I didn't fix my hair so I looked like a freak all day. I was late to two classes, and I failed a test. It was the day from Hell. Today was a little bit better though. The ninth graders had another thing to do so they were gone most of the day, we read our scripts with eachother in Mistrels of Troy, we learned an entire song in Choir, and we had fun in History and I got to leave class 5 minutes early to get to lunch because my group matched more Facts to Explorers than anybody else. We thought we were gonng lose, but we were wrong luckily! haha and some suckers had to go to lunch way late!
So anyway, things were okay today, i did my french homework and didn't have to worry about another zero, and i have As and Bs in all my classes, so things aren't too bad in my life. which surprised me greatly!

I got my mandolin fixed! Yay me! I wore a skirt today and got fifty million compliments. I was happy. I have commited myself to a long-hand journal, so I am apologizing in advanced because I am sure that I will really neglect this one. I nkow I already have, but I didn't apologize for it, so I am now! there we go....so yeah sorry journal...

~k